[Cloud9...68]

The following quote from Xter on another thread got me to thinking:



"Back in the garage I squeeze under the car and open the drain plug. Normal stuff. Got back under to put the drain bolt back in and guess what - I had drained the auto trans fluid - idiot. After talking to the local dealer and worrying about whether the dif would be OK, and another trip to Pep Boys for tranny fluid, 4 hours had passed. I saved 0 time and 0 money, and got oil all over the garage floor (epoxyed so no big deal). My Dad is an automotive engineer and my uncle a professional mech who owned a good garage. One would hope that some of that was in teh genes. Oh well. I won't go near a lift and don't have jack stands within a mile of my place - too dangerous. Mechanics love guys like me. "



Wouldn't a fun thread be a compilation of our collective dumbest things we've ever done to a car (not necessarily a 968) while playing mechanic? I've been guilty of a bunch, most of which escape me at the moment. The most recent one I can think of was when I was doing my belt change this past spring - I had everything back together, and was ready to call it done, so I went to retract my shop light back into its reel, but soon realized I had captured the cord inside the electric fan assembly. Doh! Had to spend another 20 minutes unbolting the whole thing, releasing the cord, and putting it back.



Hopefully this will help get our minds off the lousy economy. <img src="/forum/images/smilies/968/tongue.gif" class="smilie" alt="" />

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[gryphon]

This reminds me of the time my now deceased father, not by any means a mechanical person, decided to save money and do his own oil change. I was young and was "watching and learning." He managed to get the oil drained and the filter R&R'd but when he added his 5 quarts of new oil they went directly onto the ground because he had failed to replace the drain plug.



And then Mom rubbed it in as only a wife can do.



Tom

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[Darryl]

[quote name='gryphon' post='62843' date='Nov 8 2008, 01:58 PM']This reminds me of the time my now deceased father, not by any means a mechanical person, decided to save money and do his own oil change. I was young and was "watching and learning." He managed to get the oil drained and the filter R&R'd but when he added his 5 quarts of new oil they went directly onto the ground because he had failed to replace the drain plug.



And then Mom rubbed it in as only a wife can do.



Tom[/quote]





Tom beat me to this one...but I did the same thing just recently on my truck. Drained the oil, got sidetracked/interrupted and began adding the new oil. Luckily, I realized it after only about 1 quart was in so I didn't have a super big mess to clean up. I'm sure I'll think of others, this will be fun.



- Darryl

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[Cloud9...68]

This goes way back to when I was a teenager working on my first car, a 1969 Datsun 2000 Roadster. My dad and I were pulling the engine/transmission (the only way to get the trans out to replace the clutch), and after unbolting/removing all the necessary hoses, cables, wires, engine mounts, etc, we were perplexed for a long time why the thing just would not come free. We finally gave up and went to bed when it hit me - we had forgotten to remove the shifter!

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[Ed Russo]

Well this is quite embarrassing but here goes.

It was the early eighties and I purchased a 1979 Turbo with 15000 miles on it. While driving it home to New Jersey from Long Island,NY I noticed the oel gauge was reading in the red zone. I promptly pulled into the first gas station I came upon. Not being familiar with the oil system I shut the engine off and checked the dip stick. To my horror I got no reading. I then proceeded to add oil until I got a reading on the dip stick. I drove the Turbo home and put it safely into the garage.

The next morning I excitedly jump into my proud possession and head for the Garden State Parkway. Once on the GSP I engaged the turbo for the very first time. Well the amount of smoke that came out of the tail pipe was amazing. It looked like I was a mosquito spraying machine. Upon seeing this I drove home as fast as I could. Once again put it in my garage where it would be safe. Once in the safety of the garage I jumped out to inspect my pride and joy only to find flames coming from the tail pipe. I very quickly jumped back into the driver's seat and slammed the shifter into reverse not wanting to burn down my house. Well in my haste I forgot to close the driver's door,and while going backwards I manage to slam the door flat against the fender.

Iwent to my room and cried.

The next day I had the Turbo flatbeded to a Porsche for repair.The head technician called me and said " some idiot over filled it with five quarts of oil "

I said "you are talking to that idiot" and what can we do to fix the problem ?

Body work was done and a new turbo was installed.



I went on to drive that Turbo for the next 18 years with no problems. Oh how I miss that Turbo, but thats another story. Under the heading of how to flip a Turbo and survive.

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[Kim]

I had a 1986 944 and decided to change my own wiper blades. While the drivers side one was in the "up" position with the blade off (now I do one entire side at a time, it is a characteristic of the enormous cephalisation of humans that we can learn) it touched it with my arm while raising the other one and down it came on the window, smashing a hole in it. So I bought a new wind screen and the next day a truck threw a rock and broke that one.



I also tried to change the spark plugs and the first one got stuck. I tugged harder and harder and it wouldn't come loose. I leaned into it with all I had and then, of course, discovered that it came off in the other direction. It's a wonder I didn't tear the head right off the car.



Now, with three Porsches, I am so much better at this. I just discharge the odd fire extinguisher into the back seat once and a while. And go to work to earn money to have others do stuff for me.

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[madridcab]

Before going on a roadtrip, it is always a good idea checking oil level and top up if necessary... A few years back, I was doing just that to my old E30 BMW when the phone rang, rushed to get it, 15 minutes later got back to the car. Where was I, oh yes, I had just topped it up, so I slammed the bonnet, and off we went. After about 45 minutes driving, stopped to fill petrol. Getting back to the car I stopped and looked, there seemed to be oil on the ground, so opened the bonnet and had oil everywhere, and looked at the hole where the oil filler cap should have been, and felt very stupid... I still have that car today, and even if I tried to clean it up, it still has oil in the strangest places up front.. Since then, whenever I top up oil, I always put the cap in a place where it will not allow the bonnet to close, should I forget again..

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[flash]

took car in for complete paint job - picked car up - left paint shop - came to a stop at stoplight - watched hood fly through intersection



did i mention that i forgot to check to see if the shop put the hood pins in?

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[gryphon]

Then there is the time that my son was playing tetherball with the little plastic ball on the string that I use to gauge how far I need to back into my garage for the overhead door to clear the front end of my car. One day he knocks the ball down, so I tell him to put it back up where he sees the little holes in the ceiling. Apparently there were more little holes than I realized. I returned home, back in, and closed the door on the front fender of my brand new Lexus.



I should also mention that a Lexus RX400h trunk lid does in fact clear the garage ceiling when opened IN the garage, but does not clear the upper portal when open BEFORE backing in.



Stuff happens.



Tom

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[rxter]

Excellent Cloud. I feel better already. <img src="/forum/images/smilies/968/smile.gif" class="smilie" alt="" />

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[Cloud9...68]

[quote name='rxter' post='62943' date='Nov 10 2008, 05:58 PM']Excellent Cloud. I feel better already. <img src="/forum/images/smilies/968/smile.gif" class="smilie" alt="" />[/quote]

No problem. This sort of "group therapy" is one of the best parts of this forum. I knew it would be fun...

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[sbdrivingdotcom]

Ok, this is not a DIY experience but it involves a car!



At the end of my sophomore year in college, my friend borrowed another friend's truck so that we could put our possessions in storage. As we were loading the pickup, she noticed that we might not make it to the storage unit before it closed so we hastily loaded the remainder of our possessions in the pick-up and the back of my 944. The last two items to go on were her mattress and box springs -- which were really just a hollow box, no springs, lol. I tied the box springs down, got distracted by something she needed help with, and forgot to tie the mattress on top.



Fast forward to the freeway...



I'm in front and hit an overpass where there is a slight crease and bump. Immediately, I remember not tying the mattress down. I look in the RVM only to see the mattress take flight!



I pull off to the shoulder with my friend behind me in tears. I take off to get the mattress out of the highway. I exit the freeway, go back in the opposite direction one exit to get back on in my original direction but can't find the mattress.



As I pull back to my friend in the pickup a woman behind her has pulled over with a smashed windshield and another woman has pulled over with a smoking engine. She's on her cell phone -- which was rare in that day -- and I go up to knock on her door. She won't open it claiming she has engine problems. I try to explain there is no problem that our mattress is under her car!



The mattress caught fire and caused quite a stir on the 101. I was able to get the springs of the mattress unstuck from the woman's Jeep and throw it off to the side.



Later that month I received a call from the insurance agent asking if I indeed failed to tie the mattress down and if this incident ACTUALLY occurred.

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[968Syncro]

Ok, not exactly a car thing.



We launched our boat at the ramp, and left my Uncle (visiting from Germany, not a boat guy) there to watch it while we parked the car/trailer.



We come back and he is standing in the boat with water half way up to his knees and says "I think something is wrong". We forgot to put in the drain plug.



If you are ever bored, just go sit by any boat launch and watch the various people entertain you with the challenges (newbies), arguments (husband/wife), and mistakes (usually the cocky ones).



Roland

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[smj]

This one's horribly embarrassing, but since others have shared...



I was at a meeting with my 914-4. There was plenty of wine consumed before and with dinner, then the meeting was held. Afterwards one of the other attendees walks out with me, and talks to me as I'm putting the top on the teener. I'm pausing at various points as I put the top on the car because this person is still talking and asking questions... Finally, after we've been standing in the suburban semi-darkness for an hour <img src="/forum/images/smilies/968/glare.gif" class="smilie" alt="" /> the conversation ends and I drive off.



Now picture our intrepid traveller heading North on the freeway some minutes later. What's that odd noise? I look up and around to see where the noise is coming from, and suddenly the whole targa top lifts off spinning to at least 30 feet in the air before it sheds enough speed to drop out of sight behind me. I gaped at the empty sky for a few seconds before deciding that flaming panic was my best option...



I wanted to die, but first I had to see if I'd sent anybody into the afterlife ahead of me. I pulled over onto the shoulder and started backup up, looking for the accident I was certain I must have caused. Eventually I found the top lying right-side-up on the shoulder behind me -- and somehow, I failed to find the smoking wreckage of an X car pile-up. The paint had been ruined on a corner and you could see the fiberglass through some cracks in the paint, but overall the top was in pretty good shape -- in fact it's out there on the car now. <img src="/forum/images/smilies/968/unsure.gif" class="smilie" alt="" />



I spent the 30 minute drive home cursing the idea of having wine at the dinner meeting, the stupidity of letting somebody distract me from a safety issue, and about 50% of the time trying to figure out what kind of supernatural forces I owed for the benign outcome and how much they were likely to charge when I found them.

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[DayDreamer]

I barely admit this to myself and shudder when I think what might have gone wrong.....



While preparing to give the 944 its first big engine wash, I closed the inspection hole on the flywheel with a scrunched up plastic shopping bag. Cleaned the engine to a gleaming piece of engineering and patted myself on the back when the car stared up without any complaints.



time passes...



2 weeks later I decide give the engine a quick once over wipedown, I lean over and to my horror see the packet, I pull it out. Luckily the teeth on the flywheel had just nicked the bag. If I had pushed it in a bit deeper.... well....

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[ether_joe]

so my sparkplug jumped out of the engine while I was driing down 280. So I pulled over, looked around, put the sparkplug back in. Tweaked the tool too hard and STRIPPED OUT THE F***KING SPARKPLUG THREADS.



*sniff*



5 seconds of my life I sure wish I could get back.

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[Cloud9...68]

Yeah, that's why I remove the spark plugs as infrequently as possible - not many projects on cars really scare me, but torquing the plugs into a bazillion dollar, uber-rare aluminum cylinder head just gives me the willies. My plugs are probably long overdue for replacement, but since I've been tracking the car weekly, it's running SO nice, so smooth, that I (foolishly) keep going with 5+ year old plugs. I know, this is stupid, and I'm probably setting myself up for a future installment in this thread. OK, I'm talking myself into it - gotta replace the plugs, and the cap and rotor while I'm at in, one of these days...

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[ether_joe]

well if you use a torque wrench you should be ok. . .

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[Cloud9...68]

I know, that makes perfect, rational sense, but it still makes me a little nervous...

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[flash]

lol - i know the feeling all too well - just........... a..........little............bit ............more.............crap!

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