[coloradocab]

Figured a bunch of us could relate to this, regardless of what part of the US you're from (apologies to non-US residents).



You live in Arizona when...

1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.

2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.

3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.

5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.

6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities. Picture! lingerie ads.

7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.

8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.

9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.





You Live in California when...

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.

2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.

3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

4. You know how to eat an artichoke.

5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.





You Live in New York City when...

1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.

2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

4. You think Central Park is "nature,"

5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

6. You've worn out a car horn.

7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.





You Live in Maine when...

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.

2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.

3. You have more than one recipe for moose.

4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.

5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.





You Live in the Deep South when...

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

2. "ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.

3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are Ya?"

4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.

5. Everyone has 2 first! names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.





You live in Colorado when...

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.

2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.

3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.

4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.





You live in the Midwest when...

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"

5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"





You live in Florida when....

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.

3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.

4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people





And for those who just have to ask, I'm not bald, have no pony tail, and don't have a child named Granola. <img src="/forum/images/smilies/968/biggrin.gif" class="smilie" alt="" />

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[KensCab]

Chris... <img src="/forum/images/smilies/968/blink.gif" class="smilie" alt="" />





'92 Black COUPE <img src="/forum/images/smilies/968/wink.gif" class="smilie" alt="" />

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[Guest]

You know you are in California if...

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying

on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose

ring, and is named Flower.

5. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and

a sperm donor.

6. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee

beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran

and Ethiopian.

7. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

8. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

9. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks

wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney

really IS George Clooney.

10. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

11. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every

news station: "STORM WATCH."

12. You pass an elementary school playground and the

children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

13. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work

an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

14. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

15. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If

you're here illegally, they want to give you one.









You Know You're From San Francisco When...

1. You've been carrying on an affair of "intense eye-contact" for two years with a person who rides home on the same bus and gets off one stop before you. You do not know their name.

2. You bitch constantly about how hard it is to meet people in the city.

3. You take a bus and are shocked that 2 people are carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Someone says TENDERLOIN - you don't think of steak.

5. You never bother looking at the MUNI line schedule because you know the drivers have never seen it.

6. A really great parking space can move you to tears.

7. You know that anyone wearing shorts in July must be visiting from Ohio.

8. You were born somewhere else. (ohio?)

9. You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits.

10. You experience "commitment issues" when deciding who to hang out with next weekend.

11. You feel prudish for never having had a threesome. . .

12. You're tan in spring and fall, pale in summer.

13. You'd like to spend more time exploring Berkeley, but its just so damn far away.

14. You found your current aparment, car, couch, running pals, bookgroup, girlfriend/boyfriend, and booty call all on Craigslist.

15. Your boss runs in "The Bay to Breakers"....and it's not the first time you have seen him/her nude.

16. You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between yoga, aroma therapy, conversational Mandarin or a building your own web site class.

17. You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you moved to SF and you couldn't figure out how to drive to Coit Tower if your life depended on it.

18. Left is right and right is wrong.

19. Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.

20. You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.

21. You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.

22. Your family tree contains "significant others."

23. Your cat has its own psychiatrist.

24. Smoking in your office is not optional.

25. You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.

26. Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.

27. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the US

28. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.

29. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

30. You give a "thumbs up" gesture to a car with a "Free Tibet" bumper sticker - and you mean it.

31. When you drive under an underpass - for one moment you think "earthquake".

32. You realize the only Republicans you know are your Aunt and Uncle in Texas.

33. You realize there are far more Rainbow flags in the city than California State Flags.

34. You go to your office manager's baby shower - the parent's are named Judy and Becky.

35. When your church elects a new Bishop who abandoned his family and two young daughters to fulfill his sexual urges with another man.

36. You've lived in the Marina for three and a half years and you've been to the Mission once for drinks. You're main impression is that it's "dirty". You won't go back.

37. You've lived in the Mission for three and a half years and you've never been to the Marina.

38. You consider "Tom Kha Gai" a staple food.

39. You consider hamburgers a "rare treat".

40. Through years of practice, you have perfected the art of the helpless looking "sorry, i'm broke" shrug that you use when someone asks you for change.

41. Despite number 5, you still manage to pay $20 each week in "street tax".

42. You wear foam trucker caps and cowboy hats out regularly in San Francisco, but you wouldn't be caught dead wearing one in Stockton.

43. At any given time, you are carrying three or more tiny electronic devices, some of which emit noises and/or buzzing at different frequencies, and all of which "simplify" your life.

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[Porsch968e]

You know you're from Northern Virginia when...





1. Speed limits are just suggestions

2. You take a major highway to school (95, 66,28, etc)

3. You constantly complain about there being nothing to do, even though you are right next to DC

4. You have at least 2 friends who have no idea what their parents do because its "top secret" government work

5. 50% of your senior class plans on going either to Mason, JMU, Tech or UVA

6. When people ask where you're from, you tell them DC because its easier to explain

7. You've never told someone you're from Virginia without putting "northern" in front of it

8. When you and your friends get bored you all whip out your cell phones and start playing with them

9. Its not actually tailgating unless your bumper is touching the car in front of you.

10. A yellow light means at least 5 more cars can get through.

11. A red light means 2 more can.

12. It takes you 30 minutes to drive 10 miles

13. Your local news is national news

14. If you hear the word "sniper" one more time you're going to slap someone

15. You actually know what the black boxes at stoplights are for

16. Even if your high school is only a year old, its already overcrowded

17. You have over 500 students in your graduating class

18. Despite the fact that Virginia fought for the south in the Civil War, you are NOT, under ANY circumstances, a "southerner"

19. You are friends with people from at least 2 other high schools

20. You know at least 2 people who drive a mercedes, BMW, Lexus, etc.

21. The cars in the student parking lot are woth 3x those in the teacher parking lot.

22. You are amused by visiting relatives who are actually excited to see Washington DC

23. You are amazed when you go out of town and the people at McDonalds speak english

24. You can cross 4 lanes of traffic in under 30 seconds

25. There are at least 3 malls within 20 minutes of your house

26. There are at least 6 Starbucks within 20 minutes of your house

27. You or someone in your family has a Smart Tag

28. Homework/Extra credit for a class has been to visit a museum in DC

29. When traveling, you have your choice of 3 airports

30. You don't actually like the Redskins/Wizards (except when Jordan was playing)

31. An inch of snow and you miss 3 days of school

32. All the potholes just add a little excitement to your driving experience

33. Stop signs mean slow down a little, but only if you feel like it

34. A rich white kid driving a BMW while blasting rap music is a common occurance

35. You call things "ghetto" even though in most of the rest of the country it'd be high class

36. You or most of your friends have a 3 car garage

37. You don't actually keep your cars in it.

38. When you were driving on the beltway at 2:13am on a Tuesday there was still traffic

39. Crown Victoria = undercover cop

40. A slow driver is someone who isn't going at least 10mph over the speed limit

41. You understand the meaning of "If you don't get it, you don't get it"

42. Subway is a fast food place. The transportation system is known as Metro, and only Metro

43. You've taken a wrong turn somewhere late at night and ended up in a bad part of DC(ex. anacostia)

44. Most of Loudoun County is the "middle of nowhere"

45. They just tore down the old farm house across the street and put 12 new houses in its place

46. The word Hfstival actually means something to you

47. Someone has honked at you because you didn't peal out the second the light turned green.

48. You've honked at someone because they didn't peal out the second the light turned green.

49. Rush hour lasts all day

50. For the cost of your house, you could own a small town in Iowa

51. Helicopters and airplanes flying above your neighborhood is a normal occurance.

52. 9:30 isnt just a time, its a place.

53. If you stay on the same road long enough, it will eventually have 3 new names.

54. You have to dial the area code to call your neighbor

55. You live 5 minutes from at least 2 high schools, but you go to one thats 30 minutes away.

56. You know at least 3 alternate routes to avoid sitting at a stop light.

57. You can't pull up to a 7-11 without seeing at least one cop, and usually there's another cop sitting not too far away.

58. You refer to distances in minutes, not miles.

59. When you put on your turn signal to change lanes, the people next to you speed up.

60. Talking on metro in the morning is prohibited

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[ds968]

F-U-N-N-Y ! <img src="/forum/images/smilies/968/biggrin.gif" class="smilie" alt="" /> <img src="/forum/images/smilies/968/biggrin.gif" class="smilie" alt="" /> ( California, and S.F. ones in particular ) And so true...



[quote name='forum968' date='Feb 17 2005, 03:06 PM']31. When you drive under an underpass - for one moment you think "earthquake".

[right][post="885"]<{POST_SNAPBACK}>[/post][/right][/quote]



Guilty ! Actually when you're not moving ( due to bumper to bumper traffic ) and you're under an underpass... can't help but think of just that..and only that !

One hand on the door, the other on the seat belt release...ready to dash out at the slightest tremble...

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