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I have only one child, my son now 27 years old. Sadly, he got caught up in drugs at age 13, so the only Father/Son things we did for a 10 year period consisted of attorney visits, family counseling in and out of rehab, seemingly endless medical expenses, well you get the picture. The things that I wanted to share with him, building up a race car, teaching him to sail, to fly fish, attending vintage sports car races, family vacations, college, were either sacrificed or cast by the wayside.
Today, he is clean and sober. I see him 3 or 4 times a year for a few days at a time. My wife and I made the decision to spare no expense and to do whatever was demanded of us to keep from dying on the streets or going to prison. In that regard we have succeded. But I go to the races by myself, fly fish by myself, sail by myself. The race car was sold to pay legal fees and the last "family" vacation was in 1997. There have been none since.
Those of you who are fortunate enough to be able share things with your children, take every opportunity to do so.
Chris Vais
1994 Coupe Midnight Blue Metallic
2015 Audi Allroad Quattro Brilliant Black
2008 Audi A5 Brilliant Black
(This post was last modified: 11-09-2010, 03:21 AM by
Chris Vais.)
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[quote name='Chris Vais' timestamp='1289263608' post='100872']
Those of you who are fortunate enough to be able share things with your children, take every opportunity to do so.
[/quote]
[size="4"]Parenting is sacrifice! [/size]
I love my 968 for what it is & don't hate it for what it isn't!
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Greg with the 968s,
and here he is a few years ago with another one,
92 968 cab, 1 of 1 Mint green cab, full leather black intr, PCNA promo car, 9th cab for NA market, 6 spd, 968 coupe and cab registry keeper. PCA 968 register advocate.
(This post was last modified: 11-08-2010, 11:12 PM by
jeff968.)
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No picture of the kid and myself, but here are the father and son trucks. We just put new strut bearings in it Sunday and last night we did paint cleaner and a wax. The boy loves his toy. It is a fast little devil and I hope he stays out of trouble.
He is learning to work on cars with my help. I could not really get him interested before, but it looks like this will be a project for a while.
92 968 cab (cobalt blue/black top/grey int)
87 944S
19 Audi A6 3.0T
03 Toyota Tundra
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White 968:
It looks as if the final blow from all of the drug related stuff is about to hit us. Our son's problems cost us well in excess of $600,000 to deal with. Unfortunately we used the equity in our home to underwrite some of the drug related costs. With the down turn in the housing market we are now upside down on our loan to value, with an ARM that is indexing upward we will likely loose our house to foreclosure. I have a good paying job, am current on everything with a good credit rating, yet I cannot get the bank to talk about a loan mod as the loan is nonconforming (greater than $729K)and I'm not in default yet, but that will change. We'll either get a loan mod or be forced out of the house.
I've had people, family members included, roundly criticise my wife and I for the choices that we made. None of the critics have had to walk in our shoes so they don't understand the horrible choices you are confronted. I won't tell you what I had to do to get my son into rehab. It is too horrible to revisit, but it saved his life in the end and that is really the only point of the exercise. I thank God every day for the gift of his sobriety.
It it happens that we loose the house as it appears will be the case, we will resettle somewhere and regroup.
I'm sorry that this is so far off topic. Somtimes you just need to say these things to get stuff off your chest.
Always treasure the time you have with your kids.
Chris Vais
1994 Coupe Midnight Blue Metallic
2015 Audi Allroad Quattro Brilliant Black
2008 Audi A5 Brilliant Black
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Hi Chris,
I was genuinely shook up when I read your posts; had to get up and take a walk outside. I am so sorry you family has had to go through all that turmoil. Darn addiction causes some incredible damage, and it goes so very far and deep. I am very happy to hear your son is sober, so many people overcome it and make it through their substance abuse problems and it sounds like your son is well on the way.
I'll mention my son as well, he has messed up a bit here and there, have had to go rescue him from police a couple of times, and a couple of totaled cars. The dreaded phone ringing in the night. And his one older sister also had trouble, for example bailing her out of the central New Orleans lockup the day before Christmas (which they say is worse than Detroit or Manhattan). She is doing excellent now, I'm a grandpa, and she and her husband are great parents and have become very responsible. As a parent is sure seems worse than what we did at that age, we messed up here and there as well. I think all 3 of them are going to be OK, somehow the teens times are really rough these days.
But you know what? My Dad always hung in there for us, he was always there for us, always; and I swore I would always be there for my kids, just like you have done. Yeah, I took more damage than I expected, but have no regrets at all for helping them when in need. I really admire the courage of you and your wife -- there is nothing like kids, there are worth everything.
So I started reading this thread thinking I might show a picture of me and my son. I hope it isn't in bad taste given your story, but since it is the 2 of us doing 968 stuff, I figured it might be OK. This was from the San Diego fun run last summer, we had a real good time, he drove 1/2 of it, scared the pants off of me as he was keeping up with Rxter and the others.
All the best to you Chris and your family.
Roland
Hey, it is really obvious what would be the best go-fast goodie for my 968 -- weight reduction! For the driver not the car!
Roland
'93 Coupe Tip Silver on Grey, '02 911 C4S, '89 Vanagon Syncro -- (RIP: 944, 911SC, 931, MGB, VW Bug, GTO, Sprite.)
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Roland
Thank you for your kind words. I believe that someday I will be able to post a picture of my son and I doing something together.
Chris
Chris Vais
1994 Coupe Midnight Blue Metallic
2015 Audi Allroad Quattro Brilliant Black
2008 Audi A5 Brilliant Black
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Fathers and daughters, boy could my brother speak to that topic. Three beautiful daughters. one each in college, high school,and grade school. Even the dog and the cat are female!!
Chris Vais
1994 Coupe Midnight Blue Metallic
2015 Audi Allroad Quattro Brilliant Black
2008 Audi A5 Brilliant Black
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I resurrected this Topic, there have been no comments added since 2010, to let those of you who commented on my posts, what has transpired with my son and I. Today I am a semi-retired emeritus winemaker, still engaged in the wine industry, but as wine educator for an artesian winery.
More importantly my Son has remained clean and sober since 2010. These days he lives in Miami Beach and has an excellent job with Tesla. He leads a team of individuals whose job is to find places where Tesla can contract high speed charging stations. As it happens, there are so many Teslas in Miami the wait in line to charge you car can some times be as long as an hour and a half. He is the number 1 producer in the country in terms of locating sites and contracting with the property owners.
My wife and I very proud of sons sobriety and his successful career. The emotional and financial toll was more than worth it.
Chris Vais
1994 Coupe Midnight Blue Metallic
2015 Audi Allroad Quattro Brilliant Black
2008 Audi A5 Brilliant Black
(This post was last modified: 04-11-2024, 03:51 AM by
Chris Vais.)
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Chris, this is such great news. Bravo to your son and your entire family. It takes a lot of love and effort, and the understanding that sobriety is a process, not an end.
1992 968 Cabriolet
Volvo S60 Turbo AWD
Lexus RX 300 AWD