968Forums.com

...to all the women on this forum, but this was too cute to pass up and not share :



[size="3"][color="#000000"]From the car news segment : <img src="/forum/images/smilies/968/rolleyes.gif" class="smilie" alt="" /> [/color][/size]

[size="3"][color="#000000"] [/color][/size]



[size="3"][color="#000000"]--- [/color][/size]

[size="3"] The New 2013 Ford[/size]



[color="#000000"][size="3"]Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car[/size][/color]

[size="3"]for women.



Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the

'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be

able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where[/size]

[size="3"]it is and how to do it.



Rumor has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month, and[/size]

[size="3"]can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on[/size]

[size="3"]cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over.



New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and

horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have[/size]

[size="3"]curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for[/size]

[size="3"]fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age. Manufacturers are[/size]

[size="3"]baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint[/size]

[size="3"]may just make it LOOK bigger.



This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it[/size]

[size="3"]is best to lease one, and replace it each year.[/size]

Thanks Dan, busy cleaning coffe off of my keyboard...



Jay

They turn into old bangers very quickly as well.

LOL. I've heard a similar play on words before but it wasn't that good.

Don't ever be afraid of sharing the truth! The truth will set you free.

They also tend to collect a hundred pairs of tires, even though they insist on buying them a size too small.

[quote name='Rap' timestamp='1340405767' post='128439']

Don't ever be afraid of sharing the truth! The truth will set you free.

[/quote]

But first, it will really piss you off.

It often pisses others off first. Mind you I have found as I get older, and theoraticallly wiser, that I often don't tell people the truth but rather what they want to hear

Me too, my friend. Me too.

Did Ford and Renault make that name up. Is it from another language - I have never heard of it before. <img src="/forum/images/smilies/968/glare.gif" class="smilie" alt="" />



A friend of mine ask if I suffered from premature ejaculation - I was perplexed at the question - I don't suffer at all <img src="/forum/images/smilies/968/ninja.gif" class="smilie" alt="" />

[quote name='Rap' timestamp='1340406826' post='128450']

It often pisses others off first. Mind you I have found as I get older, and theoraticallly wiser, that I often don't tell people the truth but rather what they want to hear

[/quote]



I feel the same, by the way Rap did I tell you that you're the greatest.

I guess this is one threat the new lady members are probably not going to chime in on? <img src="/forum/images/smilies/968/blush.png" class="smilie" alt="" />

Craig - you crack me up. Nothing wrong with a good 0-100 time, faster is better right?

[quote name='tamathumper' timestamp='1340406633' post='128448']

They also tend to collect a hundred pairs of tires, even though they insist on buying them a size too small.

[/quote]



Just a hundred for yours. Boy are you lucky.

AJG, my what a quick learner. Craig perhaps AJG can learn something from you! Yours was a good un!

Did you hear the one about a guy's wife that wanted a breast enlargement?



She asked her husband, but it was going to cost $10,000



He replied that he had a better idea and it was free. Just put some toilet paper between them and they will grow.



His wife looked at him, perplexed and said - that is stupid, putting toilet paper between my breasts is not going to make them bigger!



He looked at his wife and said - "It has worked on your arse"!

And old classic, always funny. Well, until she tells him to also keep toilet paper wrapped around his wiener, while they're at it ;-) ;-)

Wouldn't it be beer for a man to soak it in? It has worked on my belly!

[quote name='craigawoodman' timestamp='1341039811' post='128792']Wouldn't it be beer for a man to soak it in? It has worked on my belly![/quote]



Lmao. So true.

I've put a lot of processed beer through mine, and it seems to be working. <img src="/forum/images/smilies/968/wink.png" class="smilie" alt="" />

One of the most dangerous questions known to mankind, " honey do I look fat in this"? it's ok I want you to tell me the truth. Do you do Jack Nicholson or do you just say nope and get the blank out of dodge. I find I'm going to warm up the car works well. Even in summer!

Just say "Don't blame the jeans, baby, they're doing the best they can with what they've got to work with". Then she won't ask any more.